(The in-between in days. The experience of change in things. Impatience, odd yearnings, a feeling of guilt then and now for not being grateful, content enough with whatever privileges are taken as granted every single moment. Swinging between wanting to know it all and not wanting to think very much about what's obvious. Swinging between wanting to be seen and striving to hide in shadows at hand. And maybe, all too often, resorting to hope. Amidst all this.)